What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
