If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
