i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Randomize
