im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
My dick has a subreddit
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
