how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
this must be what syphilis tastes like
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
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