im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
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