What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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