I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
