Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
