If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
