party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I cannot find my penis.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Randomize
