If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
