I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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