I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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