i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
