My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
