i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I love how my cats smell like pot.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Holy shit dude........stairs
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
