so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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