they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
