Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Sorry about my life...
Randomize
