Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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