What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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