So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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