is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
