Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
