Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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