none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
