So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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