So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I need a beard to bite.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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