Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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