new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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