I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
