Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Randomize
