I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
