i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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