I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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