New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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