the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
