Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
