your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
