i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Randomize
