Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Randomize
