the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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