This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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