butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I hate all girls vehemently.
Do vagina's smell?
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize