sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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