at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
im calling her cock vulture from now on
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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