we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I just had sex on a roof
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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