i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
