How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
