Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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